FDA Study: CROCS Shorts an Excellent Source of Protein
Wed Nov 29 05:40:11 2006 EST
New York (Dow Jones)--- A new study from the FDA confirms the obvious. Short sellers are an excellent source of protein for bloodthirsty CROCS longs.
Ali Gayter, Head Reptilian Researcher, commented “Scientists have long suspected that CROCS longs are a different breed. They are apex predators. Research in Motion (RIMM-NASDAQ) has also doubled since the fourth of July but our research indicates that RIMM longs are vegan-like compared to carnivorous CROX longs.”
Ms. Gayter went on to add “We would recommend CROCS longs consume the arm or a leg of a short every 24 hours"… adding “just swallow them whole” if hunger pangs persist.
CROCS shorts are indeed on the run, utilizing Planes, Trains and Automobiles in a futile attempt to escape the feeding frenzy. One panic stricken short even hijacked a Jet Ski in a desperate bid to wriggle free. Police recovered his mauled body near the Tappan Zee bridge.
On a sad note, Ms.Gayter added “these things always end badly. The longs will eventually turn on each other in a gory display of cannibalism, likely resulting in P/E compression.”
--StockJockey, Dow Jones Newswires: 212-555-1212
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