Where’s Maria’s Hand and Why’s Whitehead Smiling?

Nice.

Goldman’s CEO’s name is Henry “Hank” Paulson, not John.

And I’ve met Whitehead and even read his ploddingly dull autobiography. He’s a sweet old man who wouldn’t let Maria’s greedy, upwardly-mobile, little hand anywhere near him.

SHE’S A GREAT PIECE OF ASS

Now, now, Dick. Don’t get all serious on us! We’re sure Whitehead’s a man who enjoys a good laugh.

He does enjoy a good laugh. In fact, in his otherwise rated-G autobiography, he mentions an amusing anecdote from his childhood.

He served in the Navy in WWII, and was stationed at some naval base in Scotland. He bunked with a young teenage pig who would constantly regale him with stories of some slutty young Scottish gal he was screwing around with.

Meanwhile, Whitehead, upstanding young man that he was, was courting some young innocent teenager who lived with her parents still. The girl’s family served as a surrogate family in Scotland, and he would even bring them richly sought after American goods and foodstuffs from the base to the family, usually during the many times they would invite him over for dinner. A gentlemanly courtship all around.

One day the pig gets back to their room and announces that “that no-good floozy Nanette dumped me.”

“What? Nanette’s her name? You never told me her name. What’s her last name?”

“MacGregor,” says the pig.

Sure shit, they had both been with the same woman, only the pig was getting the jolly end of the deal, while nice Whitehead was getting squeezed for C rations.

So it goes.

Anyhow...maybe Maria’s getting C rations out of it too.

Awesome